For the past several weeks I’ve been in a slump. Not sure exactly how or when it started, just that it would not lift. This is the first thing I’ve written in many weeks.
Can you relate? Do you ever have times where you just.can’t.seem.to.get.up?
Yesterday I talked to my husband Don about my sadness, weariness, and frustration. Most of it centers around my writing and speaking gift from the Lord that, well, is not being used right now. I had just listened to a speaker at an online writer’s conference who talked about how God spoke to her in so many little ways during the day, and that’s what she wrote about. I used to be like that – I blogged every week, wrote 2 books, started a third book, have SO many book ideas. All are about the daily practical side of living out our faith, using analogies from everyday life and sharing testimony.
What happened to my passion? Why couldn’t I write like that again? I have the time…but every time I thought about writing some trivial task commandeered my time.
As I looked back over the past few years, a pattern emerged.
- A few years ago I started a Facebook Live series and then quit after a few short months
- Earlier this year I started a Monday series of inspirational messages but quit after a few weeks.
- I blog here and there, but never consistently.
- I’ve started several books, written down many ideas, all are somewhere on my computer waiting to be
Lots of good things started and none of them continued or finished. Why? I honestly don’t know. I started to earnestly seek God for answers.
Back to today. Don and I went to a morning workout with our gym. It was a burner of a workout that included running 400 meters (about ¼ mile) 12 times…once after each round of snatches, situps, burpees, cleans, and thrusters.
When I hit burpees after round 3 (if you don’t know what an ugly and horrible thing a burpee is, google it), I decided to cut the quantity because I am so slow with them. I made the mistake of mentioning that to the coach, “Hey, I’m only doing 20 burpees and will do 30 cleans”.
“No, you’ll do all the burpees.”
“But I …..”
“Burpees, now, finish them!”
Sigh. OK, I finished the burpees. I figured I was going to quit the workout anyway after round 6, so might as well do them all.
During my post-burpee run the Lord spoke to me.
“Do you want a DNF by your name?”
DNF. Did Not Finish. I’ve seen those next to athlete’s names who did not finish the tournament, race, or game. Sometimes the DNF was because they were disqualified, but in most cases it was not their choice to take that DNF – some type of injury stopped them from finishing.
With this workout I was choosing a DNF. I was capable of finishing, albeit last in our group, and I was planning to quit.
I decided right then I didn’t want a DNF. I wanted to finish the workout.
What does this have to do with my writing? Stay tuned for part 2…